The following is a text conversation that actually happened
Me: I’m sitting at a B&N hoping to finally write something more and I’m sitting behind this ridiculously hot, ridiculously young, ridiculously married guy and I just totally had a hot year-long affair with him in the time it took me to take off my jacket.
Friend: Is it over now? Did you tell him that you can’t keep on like this?
Me: It ended with him begging me to stay. He said he was leaving his wife and 5 kids to be with me.
Friend: Wow. You’re so strong.
Me: I told him I was a free spirit and couldn’t be locked down. He ugly cried. I left with Juan Carlos, my Latin lover that I met at the grocery store the day before.