I felt completely out of place with my little tank top that had a pentagram in the pansexual colors. It said ‘pan-tagram’ and I thought it was a cute, clever shirt to wear to the parade. But all it did was help me feel even more out of place. I don’t know why but I felt like a fraud being there. It was a powerful feeling that engulfed me with every moment I spent there. Perhaps she saw my nerves as I downed countless shots. I felt her walk up to me, my eyes immediately going to her trans flag, tied around her neck like a superhero’s cape. Her presence made her my heroine, helping me to shake off my feelings of not belonging. I meekly offered her a shot, which she laughed and shook her head at, instead offering to let me join her and her friends.
When I looked over at her friends, I saw them waving us over. I smiled widely at their immediate acceptance. Her hand wrapped around mine and I squeezed it as I jogged over with her. The greetings were quick so we could turn our attention back to the parade. We waved and grabbed candy and goodies that were tossed our way. After the parade, we ended up downtown at one of the drag bars, marveling at the beauty within as we drowned in drink after drink.
And though I was grateful to wake up clothed and wrapped around my heroine, her trans flag cape draped over us like a blanket, I was more grateful for that smile she gave me as she nuzzled my chest and sleepily blinked at me. I figured we’d part ways after having some coffee, maybe talk a little, and perhaps I’d find the courage to give her my number. But she stayed with me all day, showing me around, helping me find my way back to my hotel. She was adorably bashful when I told her she was my new favorite superhero, and we spent hours talking about comic book heroes, finding out that we shared many favorites. That night we didn’t drink, but we weren’t fully clothed when we woke up the next morning either. Or any other morning that we got to wake up together.
Every time I see her trans flag hanging next to my pan flag in our living room, I get a bit of glee, remembering that night with her. The same bit of glee I get when I see our superhero collectibles or when we binge our favorite comic book-based movies. I found my hero, my nerd, and my other half that day. Not a bad day to call our anniversary at all.